>> I WOKE UP, I DIDN´T KNOW
WHERE I WAS.
DIDN´T KNOW WHO I WAS.
COULDN´T BELIEVE I´D SLEPT
THROUGH MOST OF MY LIFE.
I´D BEEN UNCONSCIOUS FOR 22
YEARS. SINCE 1989. I WAS 18.
>> AND THE ACCIDENT HAPPENED
AT A CONSTRUCTION SITE,
IS THAT RIGHT?
>> YES, IT WAS A SUMMER JOB.
I WAS INSTALLING A CHURCH
STEEPLE. A CRANE COLLAPSED.
I DON´T EVEN REMEMBER IT HITTING
ME. ONE SECOND, IT WAS
A BEAUTIFUL DAY, THE NEXT,
PHHTT--LIGHTS OUT.
>> AND WHAT EXACTLY IS IT THAT
BROUGHT YOU HERE? WHAT DON´T YOU
LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF?
>> JESUS, MAN, LOOK AT ME.
I´M ANCIENT!
EVEN THOUGH MY BODY WAS ALIVE
FOR 40 YEARS, I WAS ONLY AWAKE
FOR 18.
>> AND YOU WANT TO LOOK LIKE
AN 18 YEAR OLD AGAIN?
>> I AM AN 18 YEAR OLD!
I HAD PLANS BEFORE I WENT IN
THE COMA. I WAS GONNA GO TO
COLLEGE. I WAS GONNA MEET
A GIRL, HAVE A FAMILY.
HAVE A CAREER.
>> MR. KENNY...
>> SEE, THAT´S--
I´M A MISTER. I´M A MISTER NOW.
[SIGHS]
I LOOK IN THE MIRROR AND I SEE
THIS OLD MAN LOOKING BACK AT ME.
AND I´M LIKE, "WHO ARE YOU?
WHO PUT ME IN YOUR BODY?"
I NEED YOU TO MAKE THE OUTSIDE
MATCH THE INSIDE. YOU CAN GIVE
ME A CHANCE TO LIVE ALL THOSE
YEARS THAT I LOST FOR THE FIRST
TIME, FULLY AWAKE.
YOU CAN GIVE ME BACK MY LIFE.
>> ♫ AHH,
MAKE ME
BEAUTIFUL ♫
♫ MAKE ME
THE PERFECT SOUL,
A PERFECT MIND,
A PERFECT FACE,
A PERFECT
LIE ♫
[WATER RUNNING]
[MUSIC PLAYING]
[TV PLAYING]
>> ♫ NOW MY LIFE WEARS OUT,
AND I WONDER [INDISTINCT]
LOOK LIKE THIS,
THERE´S A KNOCK ON THE DOOR ♫
[SONG CONTINUES]
[TV PLAYING]
>> WHY AREN´T YOU GETTING READY?
>> READY? FOR WHAT?
>> I HAVE A MEET AND GREET
AT THE PACIFIC DESIGN CENTER
TONIGHT. I TOLD YOU THIS
A WEEK AGO, YOU DON´T REMEMBER?
[SIGHS]
CHRISTIAN, THIS IS REALLY
IMPORTANT. I NEED TO MAKE
CONTACTS TONIGHT, AND I HAD ALL
OF THESE BUSINESS CARDS MADE.
>> "OVER 15 YEARS EXPERIENCE."
IN WHAT?
>> WELL, I HAD A LIFE BEFORE
YOU AND I MET.
I DESIGNED ALL MY OWN
MOVIE SETS.
>> OH. [CHUCKLES] OK.
>> WELL, YOU HAVEN´T EXACTLY
THANKED ME FOR WHAT I´VE DONE
HERE.
>> CAN´T IMAGINE HOW THAT
SLIPPED MY MIND.
>> LOOK, I KNOW IT TAKES
A LITTLE BIT OF GETTING USED TO,
BUT IN THE OVERCROWDED MARKETS
IN L.A., YOU NEED TO MAKE
BOLD STYLE CHOICES.
AND SPEAKING OF STYLE, COULD YOU
PLEASE GET UP OFF THE COUCH
AND GO GET DRESSED?
[TURNS ON TV]
>> THIS IS THE THIRD TIME
YOU TRIED TO DRAG ME OUT THIS
WEEK, ALL RIGHT? I DIDN´T GET
MARRIED SO THAT YOU COULD GET ME
IN A SUIT AND HAVE ME RUB ELBOWS
WITH THE GREAT UNWASHED.
[TURNS OFF TV]
>> ALL RIGHT.
LOOK, I GOT THE HOUSE, THE JOB,
THE BEAUTIFUL WIFE. JUST LET ME
RELAX AND ENJOY MY LIFE.
[TURNS ON TV]
[PUTS REMOTE CONTROL ON TABLE]
>> OK.
>> AWESOME BALLGAME LAST NIGHT.
YOU GET TO CATCH IT?
>> IS THAT YOU?
>> HUH?
>> YOU STINK.
AND YOU LOOK LIKE SHIT.
>> THANK YOU.
YOU KNOW HOW LONG IT TOOK ME TO
GET READY THIS MORNING?
3 MINUTES. GOT TO CATCH
SPORTSCENTER FOR THE FIRST TIME
IN MONTHS, DIDN´T CUT MYSELF
SHAVING, DIDN´T HAVE TO SWING BY
THE DRY CLEANERS ON MY WAY
TO THE OFFICE.
>> YEAH, MAYBE YOU SHOULD HAVE.
>> I AM DONE GETTING UP AT 6:00
EVERY DAY, GETTING READY FOR
WORK. SHOWER, SHAVE, DO THE
HAIR, PRESS THE SUIT.
ALL THAT BULLSHIT´S HARD ON
A MAN. WHY ARE YOU LOOKING
AT THAT THING, BY THE WAY?
>> TRYING TO FIND A BED.
ONLY HAVE A MATTRESS ON
THE FLOOR RIGHT NOW.
>> A MAN OVER THIRTY SHOULD
NEVER BUY ANYTHING THAT HE HAS
TO PUT TOGETHER, PARTICULARLY
FROM THE SWEDES.
>> MM-HMM.
JULIA USED TO BUY OUR FURNITURE.
NEVER REALLY HAD TO DO THIS
BEFORE. NEVER HAD MY OWN PLACE
UNTIL NOW.
>> HA, CALL MY WIFE.
SHE APPARENTLY IS AN INTERIOR
DESIGNER NOW.
>> KIMBER?
>> MATTER OF FACT...
YOU´D BE DOING ME A HUGE FAVOR.
SHE´S BEING A REAL PAIN IN
THE ASS.
DO YOU MIND GIVING HER A BUZZ?
HUH?
>> EXCUSE ME. I´VE BEEN
WAITING FOR A HALF HOUR.
SHOULD I RESCHEDULE?
>> I TOLD YOU ALREADY, WE´LL BE
WITH YOU AS SOON AS WE CAN.
>> HI.
>> SORRY TO KEEP YOU WAITING,
MRS., UM--
>> BANKS.
>> WILLOW BANKS.
>> WILLOW BANKS. WOW.
BEAUTIFUL. DR. CHRISTIAN TROY.
[CHUCKLES]
YOU A MODEL?
>> I WAS.
>> GREAT.
>> I´D LIKE TO APOLOGIZE
FOR THE RECEPTIONIST. SHE CAN
BE A REAL BITCH SOMETIMES.
>> DR. TROY--
>> DO IT AGAIN, YOU´RE FIRED.
OK? [MURMURING]
SHALL WE?
>> YEAH.
PLEASE DON´T FIRE HER ON MY
ACCOUNT. WOMEN ALWAYS SEEM
TO TREAT ME LIKE THAT.
>> MAYBE I´LL GIVE HER A RAISE.
[CHUCKLES]
AHH.
>> MAYBE I SHOULD BANG
THE SHIT OUT OF YOU RIGHT HERE
ON THIS DESK.
DR. TROY?
DR. TROY? EXCUSE ME?
>> YES. SO...
WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU,
MS. BANKS? I´D ASK YOU WHAT YOU
DON´T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF,
BUT YOU LOOK PRETTY GOOD TO ME.
[CHUCKLES]
>> WELL, THAT´S EXACTLY
THE PROBLEM.
>> RIGHT.
>> I´M TIRED OF ALL
THE ATTENTION I GET BECAUSE
OF THE WAY I LOOK. I´M TIRED
OF EVERY GUY I MEET EITHER BEING
TOO INTIMIDATED TO TALK TO ME,
OR THINK THAT HE CAN JUST STROLL
UP AND ASK ME OUT.
>> HMM.
>> I CAN´T TELL YOU HOW MANY
TIMES A GUY HAS TRIED SOME
CHEESY PICK-UP LINE OR HOWLED
LIKE A DOG AS I WALK BY. I MEAN,
IS IT TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR JUST
A LITTLE CONVERSATION BEFORE
TELLING ME THAT YOU´RE
ENVISIONING ME NAKED?
>> [SIGHS]
>> AND I´M TIRED OF NOT HAVING
ANY GIRLFRIENDS BECAUSE THEY
THINK I MAKE THEM LOOK BAD.
I JUST...I CAN´T BE PERFECT
ANYMORE.
I WANT TO BE UNPERFECT.
>> UNPERFECT?
>> MM-HMM. YEAH.
>> [CHUCKLES]
WELL, THAT´S THE STUPIDEST THING
I EVER HEARD.
[LAUGHS]
PEOPLE COME IN HERE EVERY DAY
ASKING FOR WHAT YOU HAVE.
THEY WANT YOUR FACE.
>> WELL, I DON´T. NOT ANY
LONGER. IT´S JUST TOO MUCH
PRESSURE, DR. TROY. I FEEL LIKE
I´M ONSTAGE ALL THE TIME.
I EVEN QUIT MODELING, AND THAT
HASN´T HELPED. LOOK, FOR ONCE IN
MY LIFE, I JUST WANT TO BE ABLE
TO WALK DOWN THE STREET
AND BE IGNORED.
I WANT TO BE NORMAL LOOKING.
I WANT TO BE AVERAGE.
>> WHAT ABOUT PUTTING ON
A COUPLE OF POUNDS? YOU KNOW,
A DOUBLE CHEESEBURGER,
SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
>> I DON´T EAT RED MEAT.
>> ICE CREAM.
>> I´M LACTOSE INTOLERANT.
>> JESUS.
YOU KNOW WHAT I´M TALKING ABOUT.
JUST TAKE WORSE CARE OF
YOURSELF. LIKE SOME NUTS?
>> NO, THANKS.
>> COME ON, YOU MIGHT ENJOY IT.
>> LOOK, I SAID I WANTED TO BE
UNBEAUTIFUL, NOT UNHEALTHY.
>> OK.
>> AND I HAVE TRIED TO MAKE
SUPERFICIAL CHANGES. I´M NOT
WEARING ANY MAKE-UP, I HAVEN´T
WASHED MY HAIR IN LIKE A WEEK.
I MEAN, LOOK AT WHAT I´M
WEARING, FOR CHRIST SAKES.
AND STILL, YOUR PARKING VALET
GAVE ME HIS PHONE NUMBER.
>> WELL, YOU´LL JUST HAVE TO TRY
A LITTLE HARDER, BECAUSE LOOKING
THE WAY YOU LOOK, I WOULD NEVER
TOUCH YOU WITH A SCALPEL.
AND GOOD LUCK FINDING A DOCTOR
WHO WOULD.
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
>> PHEW.
>> HEY.
>> OH, HELLO. HEH. DO YOU WANT
ME TO COME BACK?
>> NO, NO, NO. COME IN, COME IN.
>> YOU SURE? OK.
>> I JUST GOT A LITTLE CARRIED
AWAY.
>> WORKING OUT?
>> YEAH. IT´S KIND OF A METAPHOR
FOR MY LIFE THESE DAYS.
YOU WANT SOME WATER?
>> OH, NO, THANKS. I´M GOOD.
>> I JUST KEEP RUNNING
AND RUNNING WITHOUT A CLUE
WHERE I´M GOING.
>> WELL, AT LEAST YOU CARE ABOUT
YOUR HEALTH AND YOUR BODY.
CHRISTIAN´S AT HOME LAYING
ON THE COUCH DRINKING BEER
LIKE A FAT SLOB. SEEMS HE´S
GIVEN UP.
>> WELL, MAYBE THAT´S HIS WAY OF
SAYING HE´S HAPPY.
>> OR MAYBE IT´S HIS WAY OF
TELLING ME HE DOESN´T CARE
WHAT I THINK.
AH.
>> WELL, HE IS PROUD OF YOU,
KIMBER.
>> I SUPPOSE.
WELL, OK. I HOPE YOU LIKE
WHAT I PUT TOGETHER.
DO YOU MIND?
>> NO, NO. YEAH, YEAH.
>> FIRST ONE.
>> OH. NOW, SEE, THIS IS
A LITTLE MORE CHRISTIAN THAN ME,
DON´T YOU THINK?
>> ALL RIGHT.
WELL, WHAT ARE YOUR TASTES?
LIKE, HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE
SEAN McNAMARA?
>> [CHUCKLES] WELL, HOW WOULD
I KNOW? I´M JUST A DOCTOR.
>> WELL, YOU´RE MORE THAN THAT.
WHAT ABOUT LIKE AN ARTSY,
INTELLECTUAL, MID-CENTURY TYPE
OF GUY?
>> HMM.
>> HMM?
OR YOU COULD DO KIND OF A HOMEY,
KICK-BACK, COUNTRY FRENCH LOOK?
>> LOOK, DO I NEED TO GO TO
THERAPY JUST TO GET SOME
FURNITURE FOR THIS PLACE?
THAT´S WHY I HIRED YOU.
>> NO, IT´S JUST, IN DESIGN
SCHOOL, THEY REALLY EMPHASIZE ON
LISTENING TO THE CLIENT.
YOU KNOW, LIKE YOUR LIKES,
DISLIKES, COLORS.
>> YEAH, WELL, THIS PARTICULAR
CLIENT HAS NO SELF, IT SEEMS.
HE´S ARRIVED IN HIS 45th YEAR
WITH NO OPINIONS OR TASTE OF HIS
OWN. HE SPENT TOO MUCH TIME IN
EVERYONE ELSE´S SHADOW.
KIMBER, JUST DO YOUR THING.
YOU KNOW, WHATEVER YOU THINK.
LET YOUR IMAGINATION GO,
YOU HAVE MY PERMISSION.
>> YEAH?
>> YEAH.
>> OK. WELL, I THINK I CAN DO
SOMETHING IN HERE.
THANK YOU.
I PROMISE YOU, I´M GOING TO BLOW
YOU AWAY WITH THIS PLACE, OK?
>> I HAVE TOTAL FAITH IN YOU.
>> THANKS.
I´LL SEE YOU LATER.
>> OK.
>> BYE.
>> [CHUCKLES] SEE YA.
>> SEE YA.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
[MONITOR BEEPING]
>> IT REALLY IS A MIRACLE.
>> OH, ABSOLUTELY. 99% OF COMAS
THAT LAST MORE THAN THREE YEARS
ARE PERMANENT.
>> NO, I MEAN BECAUSE HE CAN
STEAL $40,000 FROM US JUST LYING
ON THIS TABLE.
IT´S--IT´S MIRACULOUS.
>> THIS IS NOT A TYPICAL
PRO-BONO CASE.
THE WEAR AND TEAR ON HIS FACE
IS COMPLETELY OUT OF THE NORM
BECAUSE OF HIS PRONE POSITION.
>> OK, WE´RE DOING
A RHYTIDECTOMY WITH AN S.M.A.S.
PLICATION.
>> YOU´RE RIGHT.
WE CAN NOW CORNER THE MARKET
ON RIP VAN WINKLES.
VERY IMPRESSIVE.
MADE UP A LOT OF NEW EXPENSES.
YOU KNOW, I´M JUST TRYING TO BE
RESPONSIBLE.
>> AT THIS POINT IN MY LIFE,
I´M NOT COMPROMISING ON WORK
I FIND INTERESTING AND REWARDING
SO YOU CAN HAVE NEW TOYS.
I DON´T KNOW WHY YOU´RE WORRIED
ABOUT MONEY. I JUST GOT KIMBER´S
FIRST BILL.
>> WELL, UNLIKE MR. KENNY,
YOU´RE NOT A CHARITY CASE, OK?
DID YOU THINK SHE WAS GOING
TO WORK FOR FREE?
>> THERE´S A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN
PRO-BONO AND BLEEDING ME DRY.
I´M HER FIRST CLIENT, AND I ONLY
HIRED HER AS A FAVOR TO YOU.
>> YOU KNOW, IF I HAD HAVE KNOWN
YOU´D BE SUCH A PAIN IN THE ASS,
I NEVER WOULD HAVE SUGGESTED IT
IN THE FIRST PLACE.
>> YOU KNOW WHAT?
WHY DON´T YOU JUST LEAVE?
>> HUH?
>> I´D LIKE TO FINISH THIS
ON MY OWN.
>> ARE YOU SERIOUS?
>> I´M TIRED OF THE WITTY BANTER
AND THE BACK AND FORTH AND YOU
TELLING ME ALL THE WAYS I´M
MAKING YOUR LIFE MORE DIFFICULT.
IF YOU DON´T MIND, I´D LIKE TO
SPEND SOME TIME FOCUSING ON
MY WORK.
>> ARE YOU SERIOUS?
>> YES.
>> JESUS!
>> WAIT A SECOND, DON´T PUSH IT.
IT´S GONNA GET DIRTY.
>> DON´T TELL ME YOU´RE REDOING
THE LIVING ROOM AGAIN.
>> NO, NO, THIS IS FOR SEAN.
I HAVE TO GO THERE LATER
AND FINISH.
>> WELL, I THOUGHT WE WERE GOING
TO STAY HOME AND WATCH SOME
TELEVISION TOGETHER.
>> HONEY, I TOLD YOU, I HAVE
A CLIENT DEADLINE.
>> [SCOFFS] CLIENT?
HE´S NOT A CLIENT, HE´S SEAN.
THE ONLY REASON HE GAVE YOU
THE JOB WAS BECAUSE I ASKED HIM
TO IN THE FIRST PLACE.
>> WELL, THAT´S NOT WHAT
HE TOLD ME.
[SIGHS]
OK.
DAMN IT, I CAN´T FIND
THE SWATCHES.
CHRISTIAN, WHY DO YOU HAVE TO
RUIN EVERYTHING FOR ME?
>> LOOK, I TOLD SEAN TO CALL YOU
BEFORE YOU GOT BOOKED UP,
THAT´S ALL, ALL RIGHT?
THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I WAS
WORRIED ABOUT, BY THE WAY.
I MEAN, YOU WORKING AGAIN WAS
SUPPOSED TO MAKE YOU FEEL HAPPY,
NOT MISERABLE. NOW YOU FEEL
MISERABLE AND I FEEL MISERABLE,
AND...
IT´S NOT GOOD.
MAYBE WE SHOULD SPEND MORE TIME
TOGETHER OR SOMETHING.
>> [SCOFFS]
AND HOW ARE WE GOING TO SPEND
TIME TOGETHER WITH THAT GIANT
GUT OF YOURS IN BETWEEN US?
>> WHAT?
I HAVE A GUT?
>> AND THAT STUBBLE YOU´VE GOT
GOING ON? YOU THINK I LIKE THAT
RUBBING IN BETWEEN MY LEGS?
>> I THOUGHT
YOU LIKED THE BEARD.
>> I´M NOT TALKING ABOUT YOUR
BEARD, CHRISTIAN. I´M TALKING
ABOUT YOUR BALLS. YOU USED TO
SHAVE THEM FOR ME.
NOW I´M LUCKY IF YOU EVEN RUN
A COMB THROUGH YOUR HAIR
BEFORE YOU LEAVE THE HOUSE.
THIS WHOLE NEW CHRISTIAN LOOK
ISN´T EXACTLY WORKING FOR ME.
SO MAYBE IF YOU COULD REDISCOVER
A BRUSH, OR, I DON´T KNOW, MAYBE
A RAZOR...
UNTIL THEN, YOU´RE NOT DOING ME
EITHER, OK?
OH, DON´T WAIT UP FOR ME,
´CAUSE I´M GONNA BE LATE.
>> YOU LOOK GOOD.
>> HEY. AH.
SORRY. I, UH--LINDA GAVE ME
THIS, AND...I USED TO THINK
THE WALKMAN WAS COOL.
>> [CHUCKLES] HAVE A SEAT.
I WANT A LAST LITTLE LOOK,
SEND YOU ON YOUR WAY
WITH A CLEAN BILL OF HEALTH.
>> MY MOM STARTED CRYING WHEN
SHE LOOKED AT ME. SHE SAID
LOOKING AT ME MADE HER FEEL
20 YEARS YOUNGER.
>> WELL, I DON´T KNOW ABOUT 20.
BUT WE DEFINITELY CHOPPED OFF
AT LEAST 10.
SO, WHAT´S NEXT ON YOUR AGENDA?
>> IT´S ALL PRETTY WEIRD.
ALL MY FRIENDS HAVE GROWN
AND HAVE FAMILIES AND CAREERS,
AND A LOT OF THEM HAVE MOVED
AWAY. SO I REALLY WANT TO MEET
SOMEONE MY OWN AGE.
EARLY TWENTIES, MAYBE. I DON´T
WANT TO AIM TOO HIGH. BUT
I FIGURED I´D GO TO THE CLUBS
AND SEE IF I WAS ANY BETTER
OF A DANCER THAN I USED TO BE.
>> ANY SUGGESTIONS?
>> NO, NOT REALLY.
I TRAVEL IN A SLIGHTLY OLDER
CIRCLE.
>> OH.
>> BEST OF LUCK, THOUGH.
>> THANK YOU.
I FEEL LIKE A FREAK.
I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT GIRLS LIKE
TODAY. YOU KNOW, TEXTING,
CELL PHONES, GOOGLE.
IT´S ALL PRETTY...
NERVE WRACKING.
>> WELL, IT´S KIND OF LIKE
RIDING A BIKE. I´M SURE YOU´LL
BE FINE.
>> EXCEPT I´VE NEVER RIDDEN
A BIKE. SO TO SPEAK.
>> SO YOU´RE...
>> YEAH. A 40-YEAR-OLD VIRGIN.
OH. COULD HAVE BEEN WORSE.
COULD HAVE DIED ONE.
>> I KNOW A PLACE THAT YOU MIGHT
LIKE. THEY EVEN LET OLD GUYS
LIKE ME IN.
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
>> OH. HI.
>> HI.
>> UM, DID YOU COME FIND ME TO
TELL ME THAT YOU CHANGED YOUR
MIND ABOUT MY SURGERY, OR...
>> NO, ACTUALLY, I CAME TO
CHANGE YOUR MIND ABOUT
THE SURGERY.
>> THAT WON´T HAPPEN.
I ALREADY HAVE TWO MORE
APPOINTMENTS WITH PLASTIC
SURGEONS NEXT WEEK, DR. TROY.
SO--
>> YOU CAN CALL ME CHRISTIAN.
>> HMM.
>> I´M NOT HERE AS YOUR DOCTOR.
[CHUCKLES]
YOU DO LIKE WINE, DON´T YOU?
>> YEAH.
>> YEAH? WELL, THIS IS, UH,
REALLY NICE. GOES PERFECTLY
WITH THE COLONEL´S SPECIAL
RECIPE.
>> I´VE ALREADY EATEN,
BUT THANK YOU.
>> OH, OK. WELL,
THAT´S MORE FOR ME.
>> WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
>> HUH?
>> YOU KNOW, IT´S SATURDAY
NIGHT. HOW DO YOU KNOW
I´M NOT GOING OUT?
>> YOU DON´T LIKE AGGRESSIVE
MEN, AND THERE´S MORE AGGRESSIVE
AND DRUNK MEN OUT ON A SATURDAY
NIGHT THAN ANY OTHER NIGHT
OF THE WEEK. SO WHY DON´T YOU DO
US BOTH A FAVOR, JUST QUIT YOUR
YAPPIN´, GRAB A COUPLE
OF GLASSES AND A CORKSCREW,
AND COME SIT YOUR LITTLE ASS
DOWN ON THE COUCH.
>> SEEMS LIKE I DON´T HAVE TO GO
OUT TO FIND AN AGGRESSIVE MAN.
>> OK. COME TO PAPA.
HA HA HA.
AH.
>> AHH.
>> I DON´T THINK I´VE HAD FRIED
CHICKEN SINCE I WAS IN, LIKE,
HIGH SCHOOL.
BUT AT LEAST YOU´RE REMOVING
THE SKIN. THAT´S WHERE
ALL THE FAT IS.
>> THAT´S WHERE ALL THE TASTE
IS. AHH.
OK.
MMM.
>> UGH.
>> MMM.
MMM.
WOW. OH.
ARE YOU SURE YOU DON´T WANT TO
TRY SOME OF THIS?
>> YEAH, NO.
>> MMM. MMM.
>> OK. GIVE ME ONE OF THOSE.
>> MM-HMM.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
>> ♫ ONE THING THAT I
JUST CAN´T SEE
IS HOW TO TOUCH A GIRL ♫
>> THE MUSIC´S PRETTY COOL.
WHAT IS THIS?
>> TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH,
I THINK THE LAST TIME I BOUGHT
A CD, YOU WERE STILL AWAKE.
I´M MOSTLY INTO POP MUSIC
FROM THE LATE EIGHTIES.
YOU KNOW, PHIL COLLINS,
RICHARD MARX. THERE WAS
AN INNOCENCE TO IT.
>> IT SUCKED.
THE GIRLS DRESS A LOT BETTER
NOW, THOUGH.
>> YEAH.
YOU WOKE UP AT JUST THE RIGHT
TIME. THIS IS THE SLUT
GENERATION. MOST OF THESE GIRLS,
THEIR ROLE MODELS ARE FAMOUS FOR
HAVING SEX TAPES.
MY PARTNER´S REALLY THE EXPERT
IN THESE PLACES.
>> WELL, WHAT WOULD YOU DO NOW?
[MUSIC CONTINUES]
>> HI. I´M DR. SEAN McNAMARA.
I´M A PLASTIC SURGEON.
>> ARE YOU GUYS NARCS?
>> WHAT DO WE DO NOW?
>> NOW WE GET DRUNK.
TEQUILA. BEST YOU HAVE.
[MUSIC CONTINUES]
>> MMM.
>> TOMORROW, I´M INTRODUCING YOU
TO A TRIPLE STUFT BURRITO
WITH SOUR CREAM.
>> I THINK WE SHOULD BUY
A KFC FRANCHISE TOGETHER.
>> MMM.
>> SETTLE DOWN SOMEWHERE
LIKE...FRESNO. AND NEVER BE
HEARD FROM AGAIN.
>> [CHUCKLES]
SOUNDS GOOD.
FAT AND HAPPY EVER AFTER.
>> FAT AND HAPPY. AND UGLY.
>> MMM.
>> UH, WAIT A SECOND.
I HAVE AN IDEA.
>> OHH.
[TRAIN WHISTLE IN DISTANCE]
[DOOR CLOSES]
[WATER RUNNING]
>> YOU BETTER NOT BE PUKING YOUR
GUTS OUT IN THERE.
YOU DON´T HAVE ANYTHING SWEET,
DO YOU?
[WATER STOPS RUNNING]
[CLATTERING]
>> SO WHAT DO YOU THINK?
>> HMM?
HOLY SHIT.
>> YEAH. I CAN´T BELIEVE
I DID IT. BUT I DID IT.
IT WORKED.
I´M UGLY, RIGHT?
>> YOU´RE, UM, IMPULSIVE.
WHICH IS VERY HOT.
AHH.
>> THIS PLACE IS AWESOME!
>> HEY, HOW ARE YOU DOING?
>> ♫ LAUNCH ME INTO SPACE,
LAUNCH ME INTO SPACE ♫
>> HEY.
I GOTTA--I GOTTA GET OUT OF
HERE. YOU STAY, I´M GONNA GO.
[VOCALIZING]
>> WHAT THE HELL...
[DOOR OPENS]
>> OH, HEY.
>> OH, I DIDN´T KNOW
YOU´D STILL BE HERE.
>> OH, WELL, IT TOOK A LOT
LONGER THAN I THOUGHT IT WAS
GOING TO. ACTUALLY, THE MOVERS
JUST LEFT.
SO WHAT DO YOU THINK?
OH, YOU HATE IT.
OH.
>> THIS IS HOW YOU SEE ME?
>> WELL, OLD-FASHIONED GENTLEMAN
WITH A HINT OF OLD-WORLD
GLAMOUR, YEAH.
>> OLD-FASHIONED. OLD WORLD.
OLD PRETTY MUCH SAYS IT, RIGHT?
>> SEAN...
THINK OF CLARK GABLE.
OR RUDOLPH VALENTINO.
IF THOSE GUYS HAD A BACHELOR
PAD, THEY´D TOTALLY DECORATE IT
LIKE THIS.
>> [SIGHS]
>> ALL RIGHT, YOU HATE IT.
I´M SORRY IF IT´S NOT WHAT YOU
WANTED. I JUST WANTED TO MAKE
YOU FEEL SPECIAL.
>> KIMBER...
SO CAUGHT UP IN MYSELF,
I WASN´T THINKING.
YOU KNOW, NOW THAT I´M REALLY
LOOKING AT IT, IT IS PRETTY
GREAT.
YOU GOT ME, OR SOMEBODY
I´D LIKE TO BE.
>> YEAH, NOW YOU´RE JUST
SAYING THAT.
>> NO, NO, NO. HEY. IT´S
COMPLETELY DIFFERENT FROM
ANYTHING I COULD HAVE IMAGINED.
BUT STRANGELY...RIGHT.
I THINK I´LL LIKE COMING HOME
TO THIS.
>> YEAH?
>> YEAH.
>> OH, THAT´S GREAT.
OH, SEAN, THANK YOU.
OHH.
MY GOD, YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW
HARD I HAVE WORKED ON THIS.
>> WELL, YOU ARE TALENTED,
KIMBER.
>> WELL, TELL THAT TO CHRISTIAN.
HE HATES HOW I REDID
THE HOUSE. OUR HOUSE, WHATEVER.
>> WELL, HE CAN BE TOUGH.
>> I´M TERRIFIED OF MAKING
MISTAKES, RIGHT? LIKE,
I COMPLETELY LOSE MY INSTINCTS.
I DON´T KNOW WHO HE IS.
I DON´T KNOW WHO I AM, OR...
US AS A COUPLE. IT´S JUST SO
FRUSTRATING. BUT THANKS FOR
BEING SWEET AND MAKING ME FEEL
CONFIDENT.
>> DOESN´T TAKE MUCH.
A LITTLE SUNSHINE, A LITTLE
WATERING. LOOK WHAT YOU DID.
>> WELL...
UM, YOU KNOW, I DID THE LIBRARY
BACK THERE, AND IT HAS THIS
BEAUTIFUL, DARK CARVED WOOD...
>> SHOW ME THE BEDROOM FIRST.
MMM.
>> MMM.
>> I CAME HERE TO TELL YOU THAT
WE CAN´T DO THIS AGAIN!
>> OH, YEAH, WE CAN´T DO THIS
ANYMORE, YOU´RE RIGHT.
>> I MEAN, LIKE, WE´RE BAD.
LIKE, THIS IS REALLY BAD.
>> I KNOW.
THE WORST. HOW COME I DON´T
FEEL GUILTY?
>> OOH!
OH!
[CLATTERING]
IS THAT HIM? IS THAT CHRISTIAN?
>> YEAH. WE´RE ONLY SEPARATED
BY THIS WALL.
>> OH, I LIKE IT.
OH!
[BOTH MOANING]
>> NOT EVEN FAST FOOD?
YOU GOTTA EAT.
>> WHY DO YOU NEED TO GO TO
[INDISTINCT]?
>> I´LL BE BACK IN A FLASH.
>> A FLASH?
>> MM-HMM.
COME ON. BIG OLD BURRITO
SMOTHERED IN GUACAMOLE
AND SOUR CREAM.
>> OK. PULL THE CAR OUT FRONT.
MEET YOU DOWNSTAIRS.
AHH.
[KIMBER AND SEAN GIGGLING]
>> SEAN, WHO THE HELL YOU
BANGING IN THERE?
>> OH, JUST YOUR WIFE,
SWEETHEART.
>> HEY, WHAT´S UP?
>> WHAT THE HELL
ARE YOU DOING HERE?
>> WELL, SHE´S DOING SUCH A GOOD
JOB ON THE APARTMENT, I WANTED
TO ASK HER ADVICE ON A NEW DESK.
TIRED OF GLASS.
I WANT TO WARM IT UP IN HERE.
>> WHY WAS IT LOCKED?
>> UM, OH, I HAD JUST MENTIONED
TO SEAN ABOUT THE NEW BRUSH
NICKEL DOOR HARDWARE, AND SO
I MUST HAVE JUST, YOU KNOW,
HIT THE BUTTON.
>> BRUSH NICKEL?
>> HMM.
>> LOOK, NO CHANGES
WITHOUT ME, OK?
I GOTTA GO TAKE CARE OF
SOMETHING I FORGOT TO TAKE CARE
OF BEFORE. AND IF I´M NOT BACK
IN TIME, JUST START SURGERY
WITHOUT ME, OK?
AHEM.
>> NO CHANGES WITHOUT MY OK?
WHAT KIND OF EGO TRIP IS HE ON?
>> WELL, IT´S ALWAYS GOTTA BE
THE CHRISTIAN TROY SHOW,
EVEN MY OFFICE. YOU WERE VERY
COOL, MY DEAR.
>> MMM, WELL, IT´S ALL MY YEARS
OF ACTING.
>> YES.
MMM.
>> OK, SO, SEAN, UM,
I´LL GET YOU SOME TEAR SHEETS
ON THE WOOD DESKS.
>> FOR THIS STUFF,
YOU NEED TO BYOB.
>> I DON´T DRINK BEER, REMEMBER.
>> I MEAN BRING YOUR OWN BEANO.
EATING LIKE A PIG IS ONE THING.
SMELLING LIKE THEM IS ANOTHER,
OK? STINKY WOMEN ARE
A REAL TURN OFF.
>> I´LL KEEP THAT IN MIND.
>> AH.
ALL RIGHT. WE GOT EVERYTHING.
>> WHEN DO YOU HAVE TO BE BACK
AT WORK?
>> WHENEVER. IT´S NOT LIKE MY
PARTNER HAS ANYWHERE ELSE TO GO.
>> THEN LET´S HIT A MATINEE.
WE´LL WASTE THE WHOLE AFTERNOON.
YOU KNOW, A MOVIE THEATER
IS THE ONLY PLACE I CAN REALLY
RELAX.
>> BECAUSE YOU SIT IN THE DARK
AND NOBODY BOTHERS YOU, OR...
>> MAYBE.
MAYBE I JUST LIKE JUJU FRUITS.
>> [CHUCKLES]
[RAP MUSIC PLAYING]
>> [SPEAKING SPANISH]
... ALIEN NATION!
[LAUGHTER]
>> [SPEAKING SPANISH]
THAT´S RIGHT! AYE!
>> HEY, HAVE A LITTLE RESPECT,
BUDDY BOY.
>> [SPEAKING SPANISH]
>> WHOA! [SPEAKING SPANISH]
>> GO! GO!
[TIRES SQUEALING]
>> YOU KNOW, UH,
YOU CAN SLOW DOWN NOW.
>> I CAN´T DO ANYTHING
TO CHANGE MYSELF.
I´M SO SICK OF THIS FACE.
>> JESUS! WHAT ARE YOU DOING,
YOU CRAZY BITCH?!
IF YOU WANT TO KILL YOURSELF,
FINE, ALL RIGHT, BUT JUST LET ME
OUT OF THE CAR!
>> SORRY, CHRISTIAN.
IT´S THE ONLY THING LEFT
FOR ME TO DO!
>> PLEASE STOP THE CAR,
PLEASE STOP THE CAR!
JESUS, JESUS! STOP!
[CRASH]
>> THOSE GUYS AT THE E.R.
WERE AWESOME, BY THE WAY.
SHE´S LUCKY SHE´S ALIVE.
WHAT A CRAZY BITCH.
YOU´RE DRIVING ME BAT SHIT,
SEAN.
>> DON´T MOVE.
>> OH, JESUS. LIKE WAITING TO
GET A SHOT, THE ANTICIPATION
IS WORSE THAN THE ACTUAL NEEDLE.
JUST GO AHEAD AND SAY IT, ALL
RIGHT? I THINK WITH MY DICK.
I AM A DICK. OK, SAY IT.
>> IT´S NONE OF MY BUSINESS.
>> SINCE WHEN IS ME SCREWING UP
NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS, HUH?
YOU THRIVE ON IT.
>> THAT SHOULD HEAL WITHOUT
A SCAR.
>> I KNOW YOU. YOU CAN PRETEND
YOU DON´T CARE.
BUT I KNOW YOU DO.
>> THAT MAY HAVE BEEN TRUE ONCE.
>> COME ON, YOU CAN´T TELL ME
YOU DON´T WANT TO KNOW
WHAT HAPPENED.
>> I THINK I´LL LEAVE THAT FOR
KIMBER TO ASK. SHE´S YOUR WIFE.
SHE´S THE ONE WHO MIGHT BE
CURIOUS.
>> SHE´S THE ONE WHO PUSHED ME
OUT OF THE GODDAMN DOOR.
>> AHEM.
>> SO TELL ME...
IS THERE ANYTHING ABOUT ME
THAT YOU STILL LIKE?
>> I DON´T THINK SO.
>> YOU´RE A SELF-RIGHTEOUS
LITTLE PRICK, YOU KNOW THAT?
>> DID IT EVER OCCUR TO YOU THAT
MAYBE IT´S YOU WHO NEEDS ME TO
BE ANGRY AT YOU?
>> QUITE FRANKLY, IT NEVER
OCCURRED TO ME.
>> GOOD, ´CAUSE I´M DONE
BEING A SUBSTITUTE
FOR YOUR CONSCIENCE.
I KNOW YOU CAN´T CHANGE.
>> PHHTT.
>> SO WE MET AT THE CLUB.
>> IT WAS LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT.
BUT THEN WHEN HE TOLD ME HIS
STORY, OH, MY GOD, IMAGINE
HOW MUCH FUN IT WILL BE TO TEACH
HIM ALL ABOUT THE LAST 20 YEARS.
OBAMA AND BRITNEY. ALL THAT
STUFF.
>> WELL, I DON´T UNDERSTAND,
RUPERT. YOU DON´T NEED MY
CONSENT TO HAVE A GIRLFRIEND.
>> OH, FIANCéE. WE´RE ENGAGED.
>> WELL, ENGAGED TO BE ENGAGED.
I WANT TO GET McKENZIE
BREAST IMPLANTS.
>> A DIAMOND IS MORE
TRADITIONAL.
>> MY RIGHT ONE´S A LITTLE
SMALLER, AND IT SORT OF HAS
THAT PANCAKE THING GOING ON.
>> IT´S BEEN A STRUGGLE
HER WHOLE LIFE.
>> RUPERT, CAN I SPEAK TO YOU
ALONE FOR A MOMENT?
>> SHE´S AWESOME, ISN´T SHE?
>> SHE´S USING YOU.
>> DUDE, YOU´RE WRONG.
WE´VE BEEN DOING IT NONSTOP
FOR LIKE TWO DAYS STRAIGHT.
>> YEAH, SEX IS NOT LOVE, OK?
IT´S USUALLY NOT EVEN
AN EXPRESSION OF LOVE.
SOMETIMES WOMEN AND MEN USE IT
FOR LESS THAN INNOCENT PURPOSES.
YOU´RE JUST A KID. YOU´VE BEEN
ASLEEP FOR 20 YEARS. YOU DON´T
UNDERSTAND HOW WOMEN WORK.
>> OH, YOU DO? I SAW YOUR MOVES
ON THE DANCE FLOOR,
IT WAS PRETTY MEDIOCRE.
>> I WAS MARRIED FOR 20 YEARS.
>> HOW´D THAT TURN OUT?
>> LOOK, I´VE SLEPT WITH PLENTY
OF WOMEN. THE GOOD ONES DON´T
ASK YOU TO BUY THEM NEW BREASTS
ON THE FIRST DATE.
>> WELL, LOOK, THANK YOU FOR
CARING, BUT I´M GOING TO DO
THIS. SO DO YOU WANT MY BUSINESS
OR WHAT?
>> OK. I´LL JUST GO GET
A COUPLE OF SAMPLES.
I ASSUME SHE WANTS Ds?
>> YEAH! HOW´D YOU KNOW THAT?
>> THEY ALWAYS WANT Ds.
>> SOMETHING´S WRONG WITH HIM!
I DIDN´T TOUCH HIM, I SWEAR.
I JUST WANTED NEW TITS,
I DIDN´T TOUCH HIM!
>> HE SLIPPED BACK INTO A COMA.
>> WELL, WHEN IS HE GOING
TO WAKE UP?
>> [DIALING]
>> OH, MY GOD! BABY,
WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?
YOUR FACE!
>> I´M FINE.
>> YOUR ARM...
>> I´M FINE. SERIOUSLY, I JUST--
A FEW SCRAPES, I WAS IN
AN ACCIDENT. I TRIED CALLING
YOU. YOU DIDN´T PICK UP
YOUR PHONE.
>> I WAS--I´M SORRY--
>> WHY DIDN´T YOU PICK UP
YOUR PHONE? YOU ALWAYS PICK UP
YOUR PHONE WHEN I CALL YOU.
>> I´M SORRY, I DON´T--
>> YOU IGNORING ME?
>> NO.
>> I GET IT.
I´VE BEEN SUCH AN ASSHOLE
LATELY. ESPECIALLY WITH THAT
THING WITH SEAN.
>> WHAT THING WITH SEAN?
>> [CHUCKLES]
HE´S YOUR FIRST REAL CLIENT,
AND I--
I SHOULD--
I SHOULD BE SUPPORTING YOU,
AND I´M NOT, AND I´M SORRY.
>> OH, HONEY.
YOU DON´T HAVE TO APOLOGIZE.
>> NO, I DO. I´M SORRY, OK?
>> WELL...
>> PLEASE.
>> UM, OK.
WHERE´S YOUR CAR? IS IT TOTALED?
>> NO, IT WASN´T MY CAR.
I WAS A PASSENGER IN SOMEBODY
ELSE´S CAR.
[EXHALES]
>> WELL, ARE THEY OK?
WHO WAS IT?
>> THEY´RE FINE. I MEAN,
I THINK, YOU KNOW. IT WAS
A CLIENT, WILLOW BANKS.
>> THE MODEL?
>> YEAH.
YEAH.
>> YOU WERE IN A CAR
WITH WILLOW BANKS DURING
THE DAY, AND YOU WERE SUPPOSED
TO BE AT WORK?
>> MM-HMM.
GOOD NEWS IS THAT I DIDN´T HAVE
ANY LUNCH, SO, HA.
I THINK I LOST ABOUT 5 POUNDS.
[EXHALES]
MAYBE I SHOULD GO TAKE A SHOWER.
>> MAYBE YOU SHOULD MAKE IT
A COLD ONE.
>> I GUESS IT WORKED
AFTER ALL, HUH?
I WANTED PEOPLE TO STOP LOOKING.
AND NOW AFTER THEY DO,
THEY TURN AWAY. JUST LIKE YOU
DID. WITH THEIR EYES FULL OF
PITY AND DISGUST. THEY STILL
DON´T SEE ME.
>> WELL, I GUESS GOING THROUGH
A WINDSHIELD AT 110 MILES
AN HOUR WAS THE ANSWER ALL
ALONG, HUH? WHO KNEW?
>> I NEED TO TALK TO YOU.
PLEASE.
MY PARENTS SENT ME TO THIS
REALLY EXCLUSIVE ALL-GIRLS´ PREP
SCHOOL. THE RICH KIDS WOULD
ALWAYS DRESS LIKE THEY WERE
POOR. SLUMMIN´ IT.
IT WAS FUN FOR THEM YOU KNOW?
COOL TO REJECT THE VALUES YOU´D
GROWN UP WITH.
>> ARE YOU COMING TO A POINT
ANY TIME SOON?
>> WHEN YOU HAVE MONEY,
IT´S EASY TO ROMANTICIZE NOT
HAVING ANY.
AND WHEN YOU´RE BEAUTIFUL,
WELL, IT´S EASY WANTING TO GIVE
THAT UP, TOO.
THE ROMANCE OF UGLINESS...
ALL I WANTED WAS TO KNOW THAT
WHEN SOMEONE LOOKED AT ME,
THEY WERE ACTUALLY SEEING ME.
NOT SOME IMAGE THEY COULD PLACE
ON THEIR MANTELPIECE OR SHOW OFF
TO THEIR FRIENDS OR BRAG
ABOUT HAVING SCREWED.
>> YOU NEED TO GET HELP, WILLOW.
SERIOUS HELP. I TOLD YOU THAT,
I´M NOT THE ONE YOU SHOULD BE
COMING TO.
>> BUT YOU UNDERSTAND ME.
YOU´RE JUST LIKE ME!
>> BULLSHIT! I´M NOT TRYING
TO CARVE UP MY FACE OR ENDANGER
OTHER PEOPLE.
>> THEN WHY WERE YOU
WITH ME, HUH?
>> [SCOFFS]
>> YOU WANTED TO DESTROY
YOURSELF, TOO. IN YOUR OWN
LITTLE PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE WAY.
´CAUSE YOU´RE PISSED.
YOU KNOW THAT ALL THE SUCCESS
YOU´VE EVER HAD WASN´T BECAUSE
OF WHAT YOU DID OR WHO YOU WERE.
IT´S ALWAYS BEEN ABOUT
THE WAY YOU LOOK.
JUST MAKE ME BEAUTIFUL AGAIN.
FIX ME.
GIVE IT BACK TO ME.
I--I CAN´T LIVE
LOOKING LIKE THIS.
>> NO. YOU NEED TO LISTEN TO ME.
THERE´S NO DOCTOR ALIVE
WHO CAN MAKE YOU BEAUTIFUL
AGAIN.
>> [CRYING]
[DOOR CLOSES]
[CRICKETS CHIRPING]
>> WHERE´S MY TREADMILL?
>> I HAD IT MOVED TO THE MALIBU
HOUSE. YOUR APARTMENT´S TOO
SMALL FOR IT.
AND I WAS HOPING CHRISTIAN
MIGHT TAKE A HINT.
[TREADMILL BEEPS]
>> OH.
I GOTTA GET GOING.
>> NO, NO, NO, HEY,
JUST GO BACK TO SLEEP. COME ON.
>> OH. CHRISTIAN´S GOING
TO START TO WORRY.
>> NO, HE WON´T.
JUST A FEW MORE MINUTES.
>> OK.
WILL YOU WAKE ME UP IN
15 MINUTES?
PROMISE ME YOU´RE NOT GOING TO
FALL ASLEEP.
>> DON´T WORRY, I´M WIDE AWAKE.
[TREADMILL RUNNING]
[BEEPING CONTINUES]